Lust In Royston Vasey
by thegeekylatina
Summary: Is the end of the month and Pauline has no money to Pay Ross. Will she have to pay him in the "usual way" again? Pauline/Ross. T for Language.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: It set after Series 3, taking notice of the " League of Gentlemen are behind you!" Sketch, but with the series 3 characters normal context.

PS: Please don't kill me!

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><p>Mickey looked at the cash machine, with concetration in his eyes. Pauline put a pair of highlighters on a sparkly yellow bag and handed it to the little girl standing in front of the counter, she faked a smile and send the girl her way " Well, go on now, you!" she said moving her hand in a "shoo" expression. She rest on the counter, crossing her arms on the grass. She looked outside, staring at the street, the people passing by, the sun setting behind the buildings. She looked at mickey, counting the pounds with his fingers while muttering the numbers. He kept stoping and starting again. He wasn't very good with numbers " What are you doing Mickey, luv? trying to count the money, again?".<p>

He looked at her and said "yeah" with that face that in the old days, the days of the Restart courses, she would cathegorize as the face of someone with shit for brains. Now it was...the same. But she loved that face. It was her luv's face.

She looked at the clock and saw the time. Seven thirty...Ross was going to come for his rent in any moment.

And like more than often...she had no money to give him.

Fucking little tit witch of Carter-Smith! Her and her computer shop had brought nothing but misery for her humble, modest, decent, little pen shop. It was november, the end of november and she had sold almost nothing. Imagine for christmas! She felt bitter, but she wasn't going to looked like this in front of the child. He would not understand that feeling in his warm, silly heart.

She looked at Mickey and faked a smile. She walked to him and rest her head on his shoulder, while he putted his arm around her. " Are you tired, Pauline?"

Mickey, silly Mickey." Yes, Mickey, i'm tired" she said, lying.

She tought in closing the door of the shop and going upstairs, going and having some nice dinner with Mickey, but " Remeber, Ross is coming" she said to herself. She looked at her husband who looked, as always, a bit distracted.

Mickey...sweet Mickey.

She had to get rid of him. It had to be now and for some time. At least 30 minutes, better an hour.

If she didn't got any money, she knew she had to do.

The same as some of the past months, when the pay was bad. The same as last christmas. Yeah, that way was becoming usual. It was the only way Ross would shut up about money for a while. She tought it was more the shame than the joy that kept his mouth shut.

" Just the pay" she tought.

She looked at her husband and said, smiling "Mickey I need you to go and spy Cathy again, okay? Like last month". Mickey smiled. She used that plan, cause he loved that job, it made him believe he was like James Bond and at the same time, he was too simple minded to suspect something.

That kinda depressed her more, but she continued" And Mickey, could you bring me some of this things from the shop" she said, pulling a list from the pocket of her jacket. Mickey smiled and took it. " What's it for?" he asked looking at the list. " Oh, I need some things for the week. I might invite some friends to the apartment, you know, like Barbara and her children".

"Oh" he smiled wider. He loved the children.

They both heard the little bell when the door opened. It was Ross, serious as ever. Pauline mutter to Mickey to leave and do the chores she asked him. He noded and walked to the door. As he passed by Ross he said " Hi, Ross. I Have to go spying now".

Ross look at him, stranged but still smiling softly. "... Okay, bye Mickey".

The bell ringed again as he opened the door and leave Her Nibs. As Mickey walked away, Ross got closer to the counter and put his hands on the glass. " Pauline, you know what I'm here. Where 's my rent?". Pauline pouted as she always did and slowly exale. " I don't have it Ross".


	2. Chapter 2

Authors note: Just don't kill me for writing this.

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><p>" What?" he said, frowning. " What do you mean... You don't have it." He made a grin of disdain.<p>

" Well, Ross, I just don't have it now", she said, trying to stay calm. He looked at her " This..." he breath hard. He was angry. " This is is the third month I have come to this BLOODY shop and you don't have anything for me!".

" I'm sorry..."

" Don't you sorry me, Pauline. I have been very patient with you. I have waited and waited for you to get up on your two fat feet and start making money. But you are just a lazy heffer!". He raised his hands, like he just let something that was bothering him, out of his chest.

She pouted again, raising her gaze at him, in indignation " How dare you to say that!" she muttered.

He tried to calm himself, looking around. " I have been patient. Not for you, I could care less. But Mickey is my friend".

She opend her mouth, she didn't believe what he just said." Friend? Sorry, but shagging a man's wife every FUCKING month or two does not make you their friend, does it?".

" How dare you..." he said in disgust. " You know I fucking hate it!".

She grined " Do you?". She grind her teeth hard. Bastard.

" Pauline , please." He approached his face to hers. "How could I like what someone like you do for me?. You are a shameless ugly BITCH!"

She grin in rage, yelling " YOU BASTARD!".

He smiled, pleased in making her angry.

" You fucking lying bastard!" she yelled pointing at him.

" Am I?" he said camly.

She bit her tongue , making thet annoying expression she always did when she was pissed. She then, walked to the end of the counter, reflecting on his words apparently. He looked at her " Pauline, give me my money".

" I said I don't have it, Ross" she looked back at him, trying to stay put. " And if you don't like what I do for you to pay that money...well leave then, what else can I say?".

" You'll loose the shop" he said " I'm sorry, but I have no choise to that take it from you".

" Fine" she said nodding " Take it from me. Mickey and I will just have to move somewhere else".

He nodded " Okay, you don't leave me with no choice".

She kept walking, towards him this time, she put her hand on the glass counter. " Do you...remember...my porcelain apple?"

" Wha...?" he said, frowing.

" My porcelain apple. The apple that Mickey bit thinking it was a real one. The one I used to put here to hold me pens?".

" No" he said softly.

" No?" She asked him, pretending to be sad about it. " Mickey had to go to the dentist back on february, cause he broke his teeth."

" No. I'm sorry. I don't remember it at all". He shruged.

She, then got her face really close to his " Of course you don't. You didn't even saw it. You FUCKING broke it! in a million pieces! as you PUSHED me against the BLOODY counter and lift my FUCKING skirt to take me! YOU BLOODY CUNT PIECE OF SHIT!". She smiled as she walked backwards. Ross pressed his lips in anger. " And if I do...remember, you also didn't care...of BROKING THE BLOODY TOILET BACK TWO MONTHS AGO! Yeah... You just didn't care shit, as you sit me on your bloody lap and...toke me...again!" She started laughing.

Ross was getting paler and paler.

" I had to fix it! I had to tell Mickey I tried to shave me legs and it just broke! I had to LIE to my husband! I Had to LIE cause you just don't care when your wreck part of this very building, shaggin me, again and again and AGAIN! YOU WROTHLESS SCUM!".

" WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAID?" he then yelled " THAT I LIKE IT?" He cackled.

" NO..." she smiled " I'm just saying...that you are a real bastard, trying to pretend like you care about Mickey, about his sake, when every time I tried to make money for you, you end up shitting up the place! And I have to end up again... with your BLOODY BOLLOCKS ON ME MOUTH!".

"PISS OFF; PAULINE!". He waved his hand at her.

" YOU PISS OFF; YOU LYING CUNT!".

" Oh..." he smiled, " I see what you are trying to say".

" What?" Pauline went blank. All her comebacks fade away.

" I'm flatter, Pauline."

She looked at him, trying to figure out where he was going with this. " You...you. Are you trying to trick me into something?".

He smiled, wide " Is you!"

"What?" she asked again.

" YOU LIKE IT!" he yelled.

" OFF COURSE I DON'T" she yelled, apalled.

" YES! You are trying to make ME feel guilty about Mickey, while you are the most happy about this whole Payment situation. You like it, YOU LOVE IT!, for bloody sake!".

"No!" She said, breaking into tears.

" I bet you even hide some money!" he said, gloating in her dispair. " Don't you Pauline?". He went and open the cash machine. She runned to take his arm and he pushed her away " All day and night, waiting. every month, for ME to come and ask you, for some louzy sum of money, you sure have".

" No, I swear. How dare you!" she cried.

" And then you hide it... So you can offer me some shag, some louzy disgusting shag, you STUPID COW! AND YOU LOVE IT. I bet you dream of me shagging you until you eyes pop out of your face!" He threw the cash drawer to the floor. Pauline cried, walking away until she got to the wall. " YOU BASTARD; BASTARD, BASTARD, BASTARD!".

He smiled.

She dry her tears with her hand and agressively pushed him away from the counter. " GET OUT YOU CUNT! GET OUT. I DON'T NEED YOU BLOODY SHOP! GET OUT!".

She tried to slap his face, but he grabbed her hand forcefully " YOU get out of my building! YOU GET OUT OF MY LIFE! AND TAKE YOUR MONKEY WITH YOU!".

They both stared at each other, breathing hard, dropping steam like a pair of raging bulls in confrontation.

Then suddenly, they SMASHED! their lips, in an burning kiss and fell to the floor.

It was time to pay.


	3. Chapter 3

Pauline look at herself in the mirror. The light was dim, Mickey change the bulb with the wrong one again. The focet was running.

She pick up some toilet paper and wet it, later rubing it under her eyes and mouth . Her make up was completly spoiled. She tried to fix it, but for anyone that knew proper make up appliance, she had done something. Of course Mickey wouldn't realize that. She fix her hair and her clothes and trying to remain with her pride untouched, march camly towards the counter again.

Ross was fixing his hair using the reflections of the door window. The light were on, as the night expanded across Royston Vasey. He didn't looked at her directly, but eyes were looked at her felections as she appeard behind the door. " I...going home now".

She looked down at her own reflection in the glass counter. " Do you?" She spoke softly. " You don't want some tea before you go?".

" Pauline, don't make this more difficult than it is". Ross said, not turning. " I'll leave you alone now. I'll see you next month".

" Ross" Pauline said, when Ross opened the door and was really to get out of there as fast as he could. He stopped. " What, Pauline?" he finally turned to her, but with his head down.

" Why do we keep doing this?" Ross looked up, at Pauline looked straight at him. Her face showed a rare expressions. She seemed really confused...and ambaressed.

" I hate you, I really REALLY hate you and I hate this...but". Ross looked like his head was blank.

You hate me? She asked, her mouth opened in fake surprise.

" Oh, Stop it" he said, rolling hhis eyes.

Her face changed as she smiled " I hate you too".

" I don't know why we do this every time." He tip his head to his side.

" Me neither" She inhale hard.

He shruged. She nodded.

She cleaned some dust from the glass counter and turned to his pens. Her attitude seemed back to normal.

" Well, Ross, It's seems we are all clear, yeah?" she picked one her inks and open the lit.

Ross frowned. He did not got Pauline's point. " I...no".

She turned to him, with a grin of content " You said you didn't like what do for you, but it seems that you ...that's it. If you cannot give me a straight answer, well, Piss off. I'll see you next month".

" But my money... Pauline, give..."

" I'll gave you enough for today!" she frowned " Now Piss OFF!" she yelled.

He smiled, getting angry again. His guts turned. Whas she trying to make him do...that again?.

" Fine" he said. He turned and opned the door " But I'll come for the entire amount next time".

" Oh, sure you will! That'll be fun!" she cackled.

He grin in disdain and leave.

Pauline suddlenly smiled as she smelled the ink. Lavander sent.

Pauline looked at Mickey, painting something at the kitchen table. he seemed so happy. She drink her tea and smiled at he looked up.

" So...do you give Ross his muney, Pauline?"

Pauline reach her hand to him and smiled wider. " Yes, Mickey Luv, I pay him".

Mickey smiled and keep painting.

Her smiled fade away as she looked at his satified expression. " What was she going to do?". She looked outside the window. Royston Vasey was dark.

As dark...as Ross's heart.

She smiled at that tought.


End file.
